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10 Important Questions to Ask Yourself While Planning a Wedding

Image from Ashley & Aidan’s real wedding

Your wedding is an important milestone for the next phase of your life’s journey. Expectations are high, and so are the budgets and the hopes. In the whirlwind of planning, it’s sometimes easy to forget what a wedding is actually for… it’s a celebration of love between two people, with the most important part being the ceremony. The 10 questions you see below are for brides in all stages of their wedding planning – from beginners to almost wed. Think about what matters to you and your other half the most – not to anyone else.

1. Will I remember this in 10 years?

We get so focused on this one day; it’s sometimes hard to look beyond it. So much to think about, to-do lists as long as your arm, endless emails, phone calls, chasing guests for RSVPs, dieting, arguing with mum… STOP. At a moment when you’re really fed up with something, like a supplier who gives you terrible service, or that item you bought and you now can’t return, or the fact that you just can’t find matching anything – just stop and ask yourself: will I remember this in 10 years? Will this supplier, or this item, or matching everything, will any of it matter when I look back at my wedding day? I’ll bet you a cupcake the answer is NO.

2. Will it make a difference to my wedding day?

We all look online at gorgeous real weddings, on Pinterest, Instagram, weddings weddings everywhere! They all seem to be so beautiful, we want the same! Those shoes, those favours, those sashes, the signs, the candles, the tiara… plenty of brides have gone way over the budget for this very reason. Before you buy anything that’s outside your wedding shopping list, ask yourself: will this make a difference to my day? If the answer is no – don’t buy it. Save the money, or spend it on something worthwhile – like a videographer. Memories are always worth spending money on.

3. Do I want my guests to post photos of my wedding on Facebook and other social media?

Image from Jo and Jon’s real wedding

You’ll probably have a professional photographer taking gorgeous shots all day, but what about the guests with their phones and digital cameras? As you can probably imagine, the guests are telling their own friends that they’re going to a wedding, and they’re treating it as an event they’d like to share online. Are you bothered about having your unprofessional and unedited wedding photos uploaded for all to see? What about the privacy issues, are there people who you don’t want to look at your wedding photos?  Make sure to ask your partner what he/she thinks about this too.

4. Will I be happy to look at my wedding photos in 10 years’ time and see this person standing next to me?

No, I don’t mean the groom – this question applies mostly to difficult bridesmaids, and some of us brides-to-be are simply just too nice, or too worried about offending anyone to tell the troublemakers to take a hike. The harsh truth is that not everyone deserves to be a bridesmaid – it is an honour that should be taken seriously. So, if you have a difficult bridesmaid driving you crazy to the point where you wish you could just elope, ask yourself – when I’m looking at my wedding photos in 10 years, will I be happy to see her standing next to me? Or will I be forever pointing at her mug saying “she was a total cow”? Well, there’s your answer. This person has no place in your wedding photos – therefore not in the bridal party either.

5. Is this item really necessary?

Think of the times when you were a wedding guest yourself. What do you remember THE MOST from those weddings? Do you remember the favours and what you did with them? Do you remember the matching décor, the colour of the sashes, what the centrepieces looked like? Be honest – probably not. But you probably do remember the great atmosphere, the amazing food, or the fantastic DJ. So before you buy anything else, ask yourself – is this item really necessary?

6. Have I included some time alone with my groom in my wedding day schedule?

Image by Kevin Morris Photography

You have a plan for the day, and you’ll be close to the groom from the moment you walk up that aisle. But I cannot tell you how important it is to have a little bit of alone time – with absolutely nobody around, no photographer, not in the car with the driver, not while the wedding planner is around… just you and him, even five minutes away from everyone. Pause, hold hands, kiss, ask each other how you’re feeling, how you’re doing so far. Many brides regret not having a few moments alone with the groom. They all say it goes by in a blur – this may just be the one moment that’ll bring a tear to your eye in the years to come.

There are several other things you may like to consider that will make your wedding day even more memorable such as crazy dancing with your bridesmaids which you can read about here!

7. What is the most important thing to ME on my wedding day?

This is a key question because, very often, planning a wedding is done for other people, and not for the couple themselves. It’s silly, isn’t it? It’s completely natural to want to give your guests the best memories, the most touching ceremony, the most perfect feast. But what is the most important thing to YOU? There are no wrong answers here – the only answer is – whatever it is, make sure you do it!

8. What am I happiest about when I think of my wedding day?

When planning, you’re probably the happiest thinking about your wedding dress, choosing a cake, buying bridal party gifts, whatever it is you’re looking forward to the most. But think all the way to your wedding day – what makes you the giddiest, happiest, most excited of all? Is it the ceremony, becoming a Mr and Mrs? Is it him seeing you in the dress for the first time? Is it your first dance? Is it some surprise you prepared for the guests? Once you know, make sure you give that one thing some special consideration, because it’s really important that it isn’t overlooked in some way.

9. What do I want my guests to remember the most from my wedding day?

Image by DKPhoto

And tying right in with question number 7 is this one – what do YOU want them to remember? You want your guests to think it was the best wedding they ever attended, that you and your OH are the best match in the world, and that witnessing your celebration of love has restored their own faith in love once again. These are things you cannot buy – how you make a wedding day memorable is what counts. Celebrating love is not about matching the napkins. Here are a few words on things that are worth spending money on for your wedding day.

10. Is my wedding reflecting my wishes, or am I changing my mind according to what other people expect?

The last, but certainly not least important question – Is my wedding reflecting my wishes? Your wedding day is YOUR wedding day. Everyone will have an opinion (here’s some advice on how to deal with it). Some of your older family members and guests may have been married at a time when certain rules and traditions were strictly observed, unlike today. So think carefully about what your wishes are. If you love all the traditional wedding things, like the garter, the favours, the ‘something old, something new’ etc. then have them all! If on the other hand, you have some ideas that aren’t meeting with approval or support from the people closest to you, are you going to change your mind because of their expectations? I’ve known so many brides who in the middle of planning a big wedding booked for a year and a half away said “stuff it, I’m going to do it my way”  and went and did exactly that. Some brought their wedding forward, some had a much smaller bash, and some simply went to Vegas, or got married on a cruise. Don’t plan your wedding according to what other people want – after all, you will only have a wedding day once in your life!

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Rachel Green

Rachel Green

If you think the bride should always have the last word, then Rachel is on your side! A devoted fan of everything quirky, unusual, colourful or crafty, she loves scouting WOL's real weddings for unique and fun touches. When not gazing at pictures, she's dispensing no-nonsense advice on everything from reception entrance songs to bridesmaid problems.
Rachel Green

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  One comment

  1. Useful article. Thanks for sharing

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