Your Mum – you’ve known her all your life and she was undoubtedly super excited when you announced your engagement! It’s a really big event for your mum too so naturally she may want to help out. As a bride, it’s up to you how much you want her to get involved. She’s probably already planned one wedding in her life (her own), and attended quite a few too. She may have some lovely ideas to share, and wise tips on how to save money. She may know places where you can get fantastic decor at amazing prices (but it’s important for her involvement to be a contribution, not a takeover of course). So, here’s a list of the ways your mum could really help you with your wedding planning – just choose the options you like.
Get that checklist out. Once upon a time, it was the mothers who planned everything – but it’s all changed now. Grab your wedding checklist and go through it together with her to see where she can help best. Planning is so much easier with her by your side!
Get a stylish second opinion. You’ve probably already seen loads of wedding pictures online, and maybe you’re feeing a bit overwhelmed. Your mum is the fresh pair of eyes you need! Put her in front of Pinterest and ask her to choose her favourites. You may find yourself surprised at the beautiful results she’ll find. She knows you very well, after all.
Ask her to contribute her talent. For example, we’ve known brides whose mothers make stationery as a hobby – so they made the wedding invites. Other mums knew how to sew or bake – they made alterations to bridesmaids dresses, and baked the cookies for favours. Yours may have something to contribute as well – ask her if she’d like to do it, and decide on the details together.
Count on her for wedding-free days. Planning a wedding is a bit like being a famous footballer – the only thing everyone ever wants to talk about is football. You need time away from it all. If your other half or your bridesmaids don’t quite understand this, your mam is your best ally. Ask her if you can do some fun things together, however often suits you best. Tell her you don’t want any wedding talk, and she’ll understand perfectly.
Image from Lauren & Michael’s real wedding by Michelle Prunty Photography
And on other days, she’ll be your shoulder to cry on. Even if it’s all going smoothly, you’ll have those moments when nothing will make much sense. That’s when loving support is most important. Wedding planning simply can’t happen if the bride has nobody to confide in when things get stressful – and who better than your mama?
Get her opinion on suppliers. You’ll most likely visit two or even three cake makers, florists, dress shops, makeup artists… bring her along to any of these appointments and ask for her honest opinion afterwards. She would have noticed things you didn’t, and she’ll want you to have the best possible option – so listening to her opinion will be wise.
Bridal dress shopping. Of course! Most brides bring their mothers, because it’s one of the most important decisions. Just make sure to bring tissues – you may not cry when you finally see yourself in the perfect dress, but your mam almost definitely will. There’s nothing in the world like seeing a daughter trying on a wedding dress.
Mother-of-the-bride outfit shopping. All eyes will be on the bride, but mum follows at a close second – and on this important day, she should look and feel like a million dollars. It’s a good time for her to spoil herself, and buy something stunning (and even one of of those ultra glamorous big hats or fascinators if she fancies it!).
Help with the guest list. Your mam is, hands down, the best person to help you tackle the guest list. She’ll remind you who should be included and who shouldn’t, and she’ll most likely know contact details for almost everyone.
First look photo. Even if you’re getting ready at her house – or together at the venue – there will be that precious moment when you turn and look at her for the very first time in your wedding dress, in all your beauty. Ask the photographer to catch it – it’ll likely be a photo you’ll treasure for years to come.
Image from Patricia & Brian’s real wedding by Ros & Anna of Couple Photography
Walk with you down the aisle. Tis true that this task usually belongs to the dad – but it is 2016 after all, and you can do what comes from the heart. Many brides now choose to walk with both their parents, or in absence of a dad, with their mums by their side. It’s a wonderful thing however it happens – and your mum will most likely be thrilled if you ask her. Another lovely idea is for both sets of mums to walk down the aisle together before the bridesmaids.
Ask if she’d like to make a speech. Not all mothers would feel comfortable with such a task, but would she like to say a few words about you? We bet there wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house. Another alternative is a reading at the ceremony – it would be a beautiful moment.
A spin around the dance floor with your other half. You’ve probably seen plenty of suggestions about how to make your first dance more fun – one of the ways is to get the parents onto the floor sometime during the song. It’s a wonderful way to share a truly memorable moment when all eyes are on the couples.
Main image from Sinead and Gerard’s real wedding by Trish Fitzpatrick, Insight Photography
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If you think the bride should always have the last word, then Rachel is on your side! A devoted fan of everything quirky, unusual, colourful or crafty, she loves scouting WOL's real weddings for unique and fun touches. When not gazing at pictures, she's dispensing no-nonsense advice on everything from reception entrance songs to bridesmaid problems.